We’re a team and you don’t let your teammates down.

We train because we’re not the best yet. We’ve won countless matches already, one step closer to the championship but nowhere near it. One step closer to the finish line but we both know that one wrong move, one wrong pass, one miscalculation and everything can fall apart. Well not everything, we both know that we’re stronger than that.

We were both born fighters. Born and bred to fight for whatever it is that we believe in. Born and bred to face adversity head on. Born and bred to be resilient, persistent, and determined.

We have this sickness, this festering disease that we refuse to cure. It plagues us both, it hangs over our heads, and soon enough a coup de grace will be delivered and we will no longer have the power to deny it. They give us salves and potions but we refuse to take it. We’re stubborn that way.

We can’t win anymore matches if we’re sick. We can’t be the best because we’re not at our best. We can’t take another step because we need to rest. The race isn’t finished yet but we can no longer go on.

I’m about to throw in the towel, I’m about to step out of the race, but suddenly you grab my hand and you look at me and I stare back at you. I look at you and I see fresh wounds; I see the scars you’ve licked clean, I see the broken parts of you that only I can see, I see how battered and bruised you are. Are you giving up too? No. We both know that you aren’t.

You’re staring back at me because you’re sizing me up. Am I your opponent now? You can take me on, you know it; but you know you won’t win and you know that I won’t either.

I pull you up but your knees give out and you stay on the ground. I hesitate and I look at you then I look at my hands, my bruised and scarred hands; I’m sick too. I feel a rush to run towards the end of the line on my own but instead I fall down on my knees and stay on the ground with you.

We start crawling towards the end; we feel the dirt and gravel pierce our skin with every move we make. We both feel the hot flashes of pain but we both refuse to cry out. I watch you in the corner of my eye and I know that your eyes are on the prize. I laugh because I realize that I forgot what we were fighting for.

I keep crawling refusing to acknowledge the flashes of pain. I know you’re doing the same.

Somehow we get to the end and I look at you, you’re starting to look a little bit better. Is that relief in your eyes? You’ve licked more of your wounds clean while I wasn’t looking. I see bits of you sticking out and I patch you up before you grab my hand and start walking towards a place you promised me.

We could give up now but we choose not to. We’re beaten up but we’re not broken. We’re tired but then we realize that we’ve made promises that we intend to keep/

I consider this a bit dark and well, it’s about the dark times people go through in their relationships. I’d love to hear what you think about it!

Did I do this right?

I’ve been pushing this assignment aside for a few days now because I don’t know what to write, but maybe it’s time to finally face this assignment and nip it in the butt. I kept avoiding this homework because I didn’t really know what to write down and more importantly, who to write to. I don’t know who my ideal reader is so I don’t exactly know what to write. I know that I want to develop my skills to lead me to my dream of becoming a food blogger but I’m going to be honest when I say that I don’t even know the first thing about food blogging. So I won’t be writing to my future “foodies” but I will be writing to anyone out there willing to read my blog.

My dream reader is just a reader. A fresh pair of eyes seeing the world through my blog.

So my dear reader, I hope you tune in and keep an open mind about the things I’ll be writing. Also! Don’t be shy to comment or give me your side on things. Opinions are greatly appreciated! I’d love to build a healthy relationship with you AND a very interactive one too!

Who am I and Why am I here?

Who am I? This is the question that actually has me on the run. I honestly do not know what to write down. I can’t exactly tell you who I am but I guess, I’ll just try to cover the basics and hope you get to know me more in my future posts.

My name is Tash, I’m a towering 5 feet and a half-inch human being that aims to be a chef. I also have a lot of opinions and sometimes, my journal just isn’t enough. Sometimes I need the world to know what I’m trying to say and sometimes I need more perspective from others.

I’ve had a few blogs before but I eventually stopped using those blogs because I forget about it or I get too lazy. But not this time! This blog is for my opinions and my experiences. I want to be able to share my life with the world and maybe JUST MAYBE inspire someone out there.

I’m here to express, be heard, and most importantly learn. I’m not so confident in my writing YET and I want to BE confident. Writing is something that I’ve always wanted to become good at but never had the chance, maybe because of fear. I fear of rude criticisms that may possibly affect my ego and force me to retreat back to the pages of my journal that’s for my eyes only. Which brings us to the question of “Why am I here?”

I’m here because I have dreams. I have dreams of owning a cafe and running my own successful food blog. By “successful” I mean, I want people to read my opinion on food, where and what to eat because they trust my judgement. I don’t want to be just a chef that owns a cafe, I want to be a chef that writes about the gastronomic experiences that I’ve had too! I don’t want to limit myself to just one field, I want to reach beyond that.

I’m here because I want to be here. To learn the crafts of the trade and to express myself in a form that I’ve always wanted to undertake.

The Rules

Every year, we encourage (or fool) ourselves into following a set of rules and guidelines that we like to call “New Year’s Resolution.” This year, I decided to cut that crap and just call it “Rules” because this is something NOT just for the New Year but this is something I’d like to be able to carry forever.

I refuse to call it my “resolutions” because there is nothing to resolve. These are my rules as of the 4th of January in the year of 2015.

Rule #1: Forgive

Forgive. This is so hard to accomplish but I always try to remember what my dear friend, Jonathan Lockwood Huie said:

“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

But then this year, I want to forgive because I want to understand. This is not to prove that I have a higher understanding of life, but this is to prove that I am mature enough to understand that not everyone is the same. I may have gotten hurt, but who said that they didn’t get hurt as well?

Although, I like to believe that in order to forgive someone, I have to start with myself. I have to learn to forgive myself first, for the things I failed to do and for the things I did. Carrying these regrets, they won’t give me anything but bitterness and contempt, and that’s the last thing I need.

I have to give myself an allowance for mistakes. That’s really the only thing I can do. I have to be able to accept that bad things happen and forgive.

Rule #2: Cut Ties

As a person, I’m still growing. Growth is constant and I want to always remember that. I shouldn’t be afraid of cutting ties with someone who I believe is toxic in my life because, I am my number 1 priority.

I can’t compromise myself because I have to remember that my life, is and always will be a series of trials and challenges. That means that I can’t bring someone on my back while trying to finish a set of challenges. Why not? Because as much as I want to help other people, there’s only one me, if they want to be part of my life then they have to cooperate with me and try to make their life better alongside me.

I know that this may seem to be conflicting with my first rule, but I can forgive someone and not welcome them back in my life. As harsh as that sounds, that’s just how it’s going to be.

Rule #3: Listen To Myself

Most of the time, I get a lot of stuff wrong but when I do I feel completely fine with it if I know that I made that decision. Sometimes I listen to other people so much that I forget to think and listen to myself. That being said, I’ve made a lot of irrational decisions that I made because someone said this and they were so damn convincing that I was so in the moment that I had to say yes, but then when I follow that road down, I regret it because I feel like I robbed myself of an opportunity to get to know myself better, by not giving myself the opportunity to really think about what I really want.

Yes, as cliche as it is, I’m the one living my life and I shouldn’t live other people’s dreams just because they said so.

This rule would also like to include that I should stop reading too much of Thoughtcatalog and EliteDaily, they give a lot of good insight, yes, but I have to always remember that people are different and even though it’s good insight, it may not be what I believe in and that presents a conflict within that makes me second guess my beliefs.

Rule #4: Break Barriers

By this I mean, that I shouldn’t be afraid to try out new things and stray away from the norm. Norms are there to standardize but I am here to break barriers and refuse to be standardized. Alexander The Great didn’t get by to making one of the greatest empires by always listening to his advisers, he made it by using his wit and taking risks.

At my age, nothing is set in stone yet and I don’t want to be held back by fear of becoming a pariah, I want to become remarkable and I can’t do that if I don’t take risks and break barriers that were meant to keep me in.

These rules, may seem selfish because it seems to lack the part where I have to help save the world, but I have to make sure that I’m in the right mind to even save the world before I try to.

Now, cheers to this New Year and I hope that there are others who also would like to follow my Rules!