Every year, we encourage (or fool) ourselves into following a set of rules and guidelines that we like to call “New Year’s Resolution.” This year, I decided to cut that crap and just call it “Rules” because this is something NOT just for the New Year but this is something I’d like to be able to carry forever.
I refuse to call it my “resolutions” because there is nothing to resolve. These are my rules as of the 4th of January in the year of 2015.
Rule #1: Forgive
Forgive. This is so hard to accomplish but I always try to remember what my dear friend, Jonathan Lockwood Huie said:
“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
But then this year, I want to forgive because I want to understand. This is not to prove that I have a higher understanding of life, but this is to prove that I am mature enough to understand that not everyone is the same. I may have gotten hurt, but who said that they didn’t get hurt as well?
Although, I like to believe that in order to forgive someone, I have to start with myself. I have to learn to forgive myself first, for the things I failed to do and for the things I did. Carrying these regrets, they won’t give me anything but bitterness and contempt, and that’s the last thing I need.
I have to give myself an allowance for mistakes. That’s really the only thing I can do. I have to be able to accept that bad things happen and forgive.
Rule #2: Cut Ties
As a person, I’m still growing. Growth is constant and I want to always remember that. I shouldn’t be afraid of cutting ties with someone who I believe is toxic in my life because, I am my number 1 priority.
I can’t compromise myself because I have to remember that my life, is and always will be a series of trials and challenges. That means that I can’t bring someone on my back while trying to finish a set of challenges. Why not? Because as much as I want to help other people, there’s only one me, if they want to be part of my life then they have to cooperate with me and try to make their life better alongside me.
I know that this may seem to be conflicting with my first rule, but I can forgive someone and not welcome them back in my life. As harsh as that sounds, that’s just how it’s going to be.
Rule #3: Listen To Myself
Most of the time, I get a lot of stuff wrong but when I do I feel completely fine with it if I know that I made that decision. Sometimes I listen to other people so much that I forget to think and listen to myself. That being said, I’ve made a lot of irrational decisions that I made because someone said this and they were so damn convincing that I was so in the moment that I had to say yes, but then when I follow that road down, I regret it because I feel like I robbed myself of an opportunity to get to know myself better, by not giving myself the opportunity to really think about what I really want.
Yes, as cliche as it is, I’m the one living my life and I shouldn’t live other people’s dreams just because they said so.
This rule would also like to include that I should stop reading too much of Thoughtcatalog and EliteDaily, they give a lot of good insight, yes, but I have to always remember that people are different and even though it’s good insight, it may not be what I believe in and that presents a conflict within that makes me second guess my beliefs.
Rule #4: Break Barriers
By this I mean, that I shouldn’t be afraid to try out new things and stray away from the norm. Norms are there to standardize but I am here to break barriers and refuse to be standardized. Alexander The Great didn’t get by to making one of the greatest empires by always listening to his advisers, he made it by using his wit and taking risks.
At my age, nothing is set in stone yet and I don’t want to be held back by fear of becoming a pariah, I want to become remarkable and I can’t do that if I don’t take risks and break barriers that were meant to keep me in.
These rules, may seem selfish because it seems to lack the part where I have to help save the world, but I have to make sure that I’m in the right mind to even save the world before I try to.
Now, cheers to this New Year and I hope that there are others who also would like to follow my Rules!